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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235301">I Wanna Hold You (When I’m Not Supposed To)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdTea/pseuds/WeirdTea'>WeirdTea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Mutual Pining, Post-Battle of Hogwarts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:20:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>708</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdTea/pseuds/WeirdTea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry &amp; Ginny didn't get back together after the battle. Years later they talk at a new years party and make choices they may or may not regret the next day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Wanna Hold You (When I’m Not Supposed To)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So I heard you and Zacharias Smith were dating” Harry said over the noise of the party with an arched eyebrow. “Never would have seen that one coming” Ginny just grimaced back at him. “Yeah that wasn’t … my healthiest decision ever” She swirled her drink, grinning shyly at him to show she was joking. Well, mostly. A little. It was a joke in hindsight. And that mess didn’t feel nearly as devastating standing next to Harry somehow.</p>
<p>“So it’s over then?” </p>
<p> Why’d his eyes have to be so<em> green</em>? </p>
<p>“Yeah. <em>Way over</em>. And not a minute too soon” She flashed him her most charming smile without even thinking about it. “You?” <em>Oh Merlin was she flirting? Speaking of unhealthy decisions</em>….</p>
<p>“I’ve made some not so healthy decisions myself, but not so much lately”. He chuckled dryly. Ginny gave a very unladylike snort “Is that your way of saying your single?” He leaned in close, conspiratorially. “Well you’re the one who asked” His breath smelt of treacle, <em>Merlin</em> that took her back.</p>
<p>“I did, didn’t I?” And their faces were so close, his eyes so bright and familiar, all she had to do was lean in. It was a terrible idea. The absolute worst. Ginny was not the type of girl to snog her ex when only a few drinks in. Especially not <em>this</em> ex. <em>But it has been a really long year</em>. And she’d missed him. Truly. And she’d be lying if there wasn’t some small voice in the back of her mind that still called him her Harry. So what was one last bad decision to see out the year?</p>
<p>And then she was kissing him. And his lips were soft. And he did this thing, this intake of breath when their lips met. Like she’d taken his breath away, <em>literally</em>. And the swirl and noise of the party was forgotten, her hands were in his hair. <em>Merlin</em> she’d missed his hair. And his hands were on her back, and both their drinks sat somewhere forgotten. Distantly she was aware of the countdown. Was this to be her last act of this year, or the first of the next? That’s a lot of pressure to put on a kiss, expecting it to set the tone of a whole year.</p>
<p>She could feel herself teetering on a precipice; suddenly, wonderfully, aware of how great this felt. To be in his arms again. To have his mouth on hers. To be this close. Something was building between them, a rising pressure as their kiss got more heated. And If she didn’t stop now she’d fall – it already felt like falling. This loss of control....</p>
<p>She stepped physically out of his space. Control. She’d lost it before. Given it all to him. And he'd made her choices for her. And he’d gone off on a quest leaving her alone in the dark without even the hope of him to hold onto. He’d walked to his death without a goodbye.</p>
<p>She put her hand on his chest; maintaining the distance with a firm hand as they both breathed hard. She could feel something constricting in her chest, leden and weighing her down. She could feel his eyes on her but refused to meet them. Around them the countdown reached its end and everyone cheered. They’d only been kissing for moments? It felt like longer…</p>
<p>“happy new year” She said in a small voice. His hand reached up to hers, still on his chest, and firmly pushed it down and away. Ginny forced herself to meet his stare, squaring her jaw and giving him a hard look. <em>She was not a coward.</em> Harry looked like he’d been winded, but he gave her one sure nod. He got it. “happy new year” He said uncomfortably before walking away. There had been a steely tilt to his voice, she couldn't tell if it was cold or just sad. She wasn't sure which one hurt more.</p>
<p>Ginny turned to look out at the fireworks filling the night sky; the Muggles bringing in 2003 with flare. She found her drink on the mantle next to her, just for something to hold, and let out a shaky breath.</p>
<p>“This is gonna be one hell of a year”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Written as part of my Year of Glorious Fanfiction challenge. The choice of year is very deliberate. I might expand this into something more down the line.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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